his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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