i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
