What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i now understand why vodka
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize