The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Panties = found
Randomize
