I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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