Pappa wants mamma naked
Nicole vs. Life
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Be still, my beating vagina.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
