Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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