then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
