Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
