I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
handjob tips. give me some.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
