And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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