it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
