oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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