dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
