So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he thought i was a dude.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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