Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize