It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
