someone threw a dead crab at me
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
