I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
