No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
