Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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