You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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