shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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