her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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