Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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