Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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