I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
