he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
