a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
