Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's rum buckets o'clock
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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