Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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