This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
