You made me cry and you don't even care
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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