Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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