There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
high people should be assigned attendants
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
