ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's shark week go big or go home
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize