dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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