There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
