Christians are straight up FREAKS
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
