This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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