Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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