My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i dont even know how to be here
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
