Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
