I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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