Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
