I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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