...so i touched it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he was CRYING into my vagina
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
