There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
