dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
