Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They are going to name an STD after you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
