the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Mom said you looked used
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
