i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
