i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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