i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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