I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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