i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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