And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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