why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
